A long time ago, one of my foreign friends asked me what I meant when I called someone a douche. If only I had a recording
of Bravo’s reality show Blow Out on hand, I would have had a prime example
of the very definition of a douche. The show chronicles the life of Jonathan Antin, douche extraordinaire, as he tries to
open up and run a new hair salon in Beverly
Hills. The cast of annoying characters include his vapid assistant Kim who is, in fact, dumber than
the hair she sweeps up, the pink haired vegetarian colorist who complains about the vibe of the work environment and various
other high strung diva-esque stylists who complain about everything that makes a job a job. At one point they all had a meltdown
at the idea of having to shampoo their own clients. I guess it’s unheard of to think that people would like you to actually
work for the $250 they pay you for a 10 minute haircut.
The worst of all the whiney stereotypes is Antin himself who uses passive aggressive manipulation to try to create
the image of the cool boss who’s “down” with all his employees. Little does he know that all of his lame
attempts at humor or insightful career advice only reveal the self-centered dick
he really is. One moment of Yoda-like wisdom included telling one disgruntled co-worker “you gotta do what you gotta
do.” Wow, that was so profound. I’ve never heard anyone say that before in my life. He’s the first. Not
to mention his awful nasal voice and stupid hipster look.
Creepy doesn’t
even begin to describe him. His constant name dropping of such D list stars like various aging soap actors only makes him
less appealing and likeable. If you really have a huge collection of celebrity friends and clients, why don’t they want
to appear on your show and show off the fact that you’re their favorite hair stylist? Instead, he makes over spoiled
Beverly Hills 8th graders and botoxed trophy wives.
I think Antin
himself put it best when he said, “I am what I do, I’m hair man.” Yes, you’re hair. So good luck with
all that.
